She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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