Umm I'm too high to move.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
