): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize