hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
