Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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