i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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