Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
