umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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