Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
