I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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