do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
