Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
