she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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