dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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