You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
