I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
