so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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