you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
