U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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