I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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