Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
