I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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