Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
