Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I want to be your penis for a week.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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