My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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