Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't think brook has ever known best
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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