I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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