No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
