ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
