FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
