Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I have demons in me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
third nipple confirmed
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
