Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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