I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
