OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
