Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
