I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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