I heard we made out
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you will always have a special place in my vag
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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