i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
