dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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