i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
