Don't you send me to vm
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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