I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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