hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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