i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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