he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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