My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
