Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
