Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
