The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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