so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize