im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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