Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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