I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
