life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
