sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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