i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
