my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
